Do Not Look Under The Bed

Let's speak on Fears for a moment....by DJ Nicci C


.......As Lisa crawls quietly and slowly into her bed late that night, she listens intently to the silence around her. Waiting for the slightest noise to break the entrancing stillness. Slipping under her covers, her senses seem to become heightened in the blanketing darkness. It seems as if she could see the smallest movement and hear the faintest whisper. Her muscles groan silently under the stress as Lisa looks maniacally around her room for anything that might be lurking there. The floor creeks just outside her bedroom door, the lights in the hallway switch off without a sound, a branch falls outside her window, and then… could it be? Yes- there it is. Sitting maliciously beside her dollhouse. She can feel it staring menacingly at her, daring her to close her uneasy eyes. Although she dares not make a sound or a motion, she strains her mind to reach it. Her wandering mind slipping into the depths of its realms to where her innermost fears lie. Lisa, in a motion so painfully slow, slips her hand from under her covers, and moves to the light beside her bed. Just as she began to pull the chain, the grotesque figure slithered its unshapely body underneath her bed to where all shadows hide. Sighing back into her pillows, her heart beating with fear and agony, she is at last able to rest under the safety of her lamp, away from the fears of the night.

Sound familiar folks?

As a child I had a lot of fears, the darkness, sounds I didn't recognize...the fear of getting punished.

Fears control all of our actions. Fear of rejection, fear of heights, fear of people, the list goes on and on. Fear is undoubtedly one of the strongest weapons, one of the most powerful tactics, and one of the best tools. Yes, tools, for you to use as a weapon to getting things done and overcoming fears altogether. Fears determine your thoughts, your actions, and your reactions. What can bring about this powerful emotion, and what role does it play in our lives? Something so common, yet, can you really explain it?

In order to explain fear, we must first understand what fear is. Fear is generally defined as "a distressing emotion aroused by IMPENDING danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. Children often describe their fear as an imagined creature or being come to harm them. Their envisioned fears are ones of general unreality, adults are more commonly known to describe their fears as paranoia about upcoming events, or tasks they must accomplish.

Fears can be easily organized into three categories: pathological fears (natural fears), conditioned fears (fears generated through experiences), and third-party fears (fears generated through people).

Differences in genders bring about many factors influencing fears too. For example, being a male has many effects on fears. The way a man was raised will have many effects on the type of fears he develops as he matures later on in life. His role in the household also plays a very large part in his development of fears. Depending on his parents, or what is expected of him, he will conform to those standards. Causing his fears to also conform to those certain expectations. His ego, stamina, and personal appearance will place his fears in a changeable perspective. Pushing them to non-existence or a complete reality.

As with the males, females will have their fears changed by their appearance, role in household, affect on their children, sensitivity, feminine expectations, and parental expectations.

Differences in genders do affect the fears individuals develop, but more than that, genders will affect the individuals' outlook on fears, and how those individuals present their fears, for example, a man may present his fears with caution around his peers, to conform to the expectations those certain people have placed on him, whereas a woman may present her fears with more openness and sensitivity, because those stereotypes have not been placed upon her. Although, so far the only discernable difference in fears between men and women is the fact that men tend to have a greater fear of spiders than do women.

As I mentioned before, age is also a factor influencing the development of fears. For example, infants tend to experience higher anxiety, clinging to their parents when confronted with people they do not recognize.

Toddlers experience separation anxiety, becoming emotionally distressed when one or two parents leave. Children have anxieties mostly about things that are not based on reality. Kids often have fears reflecting real circumstances, such as natural disasters, and possible bodily harm.

Fears from a young child, are very general, and encompass a larger scope of view than maturing children. As the individual ages, past fears grow in intensity, and new fears develop with maturity. These fears formed from maturity shape who the person will become. Fears will become more defined, and more focused on one certain thing, than an all over general paranoia.

Lastly, fears will vary through experiences. These are called conditioning fears. A person may have experiences during childhood that will provoke him to fear or overcome fear of a certain thing. Then there are experiences that individual will face in the present time, that will lead him or her to take more decisive action regarding his fears. There is also the prospect of the futurea. Which may stimulate fears in him that are not necessarily going to come to pass. These fears are frequently over-exaggerated,unrealistic, and fictitious, yet, they still leave a definite impression in the individuals mind, causing unmerited worries.

Fear is a very general name for our discomfort and dislikes, but more often than not, we will see fear as anxieties, or phobias. Phobias are fears that have persisted on late into life, and begin to interfere with daily life. Phobias cause extreme inappropriate reactions, and actions, and intense distressing emotions.

Phobias will often relate to certain anxiety disorders, such as phobias of the following: animals, situations, separation, bill and financial related. These can become very serious if left unhandled for too long.

Anxieties are not as severe as phobias, but are very much in the same category. Fear is known to stir up the 'flight or fight' response. Anxieties cause that same response, with the exception that there is no way out. These fears seem inevitable and unbreakable. For people with anxieties they have the 'flight or fight' feeling everyday, most of the time, even when there is no real danger. This of course will affect thought, feelings, and cause the individual to make inappropriate or unjust decisions.

Childhood anxieties are the most serious.

So now that we can 'define' fear a little easier, how do we conquer it? We can only conquer fear with the help of God, but there are certain things that we can do to help ourselves.

First, we need to understand the reality. Think back on the times you have been afraid of something you were never really in danger of. How many time have you thought of an even, but it never came to pass, or you have had an event happen and the results were not as bad as you imagined? Think on those things, and realize that, if you are like most people, your fears are not harmful.

Have a positive outlook. Never give up on yourself. Train yourself to see the beauty of situations, instead of the negative. You will begin to loose sight of what caused you to fear in the first place.

In conclusion, Fears play an extremely important role in our lives. Not only do they form our actions, but they also shape who we are, and who we become. Having effects not only on ourselves, but also on those who come into contact with us. Fears should not be taken lightly, and should be dealt with as necessary. No person should have to deal with it, because you can overcome fear.